Whether you’re just starting out on your relationship with your man, or you’ve been together a few years, you want to be sure you’re being the best girlfriend you can possibly be so the relationship continues to grow.
You can be loving and supportive without giving up your independence.
Getting to know each other requires you to be honest so that you each get to know one another and see if you’re compatible. Be who you really are. Don’t pretend to be a great chef by passing off a meal as home-made when you bought it from the store. Also be honest with yourself. If you behave inappropriately or make a mistake then apologise as soon as you can. If he does something or says something that makes you uncomfortable, let him know the impact that has on you, but without any accusation or demand that he change. The only changes you can make are to yourself.
You don’t exist solely to meet the needs of your boyfriend. Share your opinions, needs and wishes with him even if they are different to his. He’ll appreciate your independence. If he has different views to your own, accept this and consider his feelings in your response. Be tactful with your criticism and make sure that your criticism is valid and not just because you’re having a bad day!
Don’t pretend to share his interests if you don’t. Don’t act like someone you “think” he would like if this is not who you really are. You cannot maintain a false personality trait for long and when your deceit is revealed it will hurt him. If he insists you would be a better girlfriend if more sporty, prettier or anything else you are not (or do not wish to be) walk away.
Of course you want to be loving, affectionate, at times seductive. Show your affection through touch, hold his hand when out, praise and support him in front of friends, give him a hug. Send him texts when you’re not together to let him know you’re thinking of him. Don’t be afraid to be seductive. Value yourself and accept yourself as you are. Trust that you are worthy of his attention. Most men like a sexy, confident woman.
Show your love with gifts when you want to let him know how much he means to you or to thank him for his support. Surprise him flowers, record a play-list of songs he likes. He will love your spontaneity. For birthdays, anniversaries and other significant celebrations, buy him a gift that suits his style and personality, something tangible that he wants or perhaps an experience gift like a day at the races.
Be a team player
Whilst you should be yourself, you also need to work as a team. Try not to be too selfish: don’t expect to be all take and no give. Show him that you cherish him being in your life both at home and when with family and friends. A healthy relationship is to know that you each have the other’s back. So when inevitable conflict arises (however big or small) you’ll be able to manage it without humiliation or hurt. When life is difficult, take joint responsibility for fixing things rather than taking it all on yourself or expecting him to do so alone, which may lead to resentments. Try not to focus just on what you need, but what your boyfriend needs too.
He may be a great Star Trek fan and you are not, but try to understand why he’s a fan and show an interest in what matters to him. Give him the space and independence to follow interests with other friends. He’ll appreciate you for it and allow you the same. Let him know that you’re always there for him, but don’t obsess about what he might be up to when out without you, but instead have a nice time of your own. Make an effort to get on well with his friends and family and don’t be jealous of his friendships with other women. He’s chosen to be with you.
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